Are Childen Just Payback for What You Did to Your Parents?

Let me set the stage for you. Small Methodist church in Knoxville, TN, late February around 1984ish... I am thinking that I was around eight years old. The preacher finished his sermon and asked for prayer requests and no one was speaking up, so I decided that I had one.  My parents were getting ready to celebrate their anniversary and I felt like they needed some prayers. So as I am sitting in between my Mom and Tom, I raised my little chubby hand and asked for everyone to pray for them.  I proceeded to tell everyone that they had had a rocky year and really needed prayer and celebration that they had made it to another anniversary. To say my Mom gave me a murderous glare would be an understatement and my stepfather just sat there trying to look pleasant until he could get us out of there and finish me off in the car.  I don't remember what happened after, either I spent a week in ICU and have no memory of the aftermath or my parents forgave me and moved on, either way.. no recollection. 

My parents liked to remind me about the "incident" and how badly I embarassed them.  I am thinking there were many more, but that one is a particular stand out.

Fast forward twenty-seven years to the new scene.. Cooper is obsessed with having a baby sister.  We have some dear friends that are currently preparing for baby #2 and it is only fueling the fire, we may have to cut off ties for my sanity. He asks me all the time when we can get one of those babies.  I let him know that when the little hand was on NEVER he can start to get excited. So apparently, in Cooper-land that means, Mommy is expecting... So, now he has told everyone that Mommy has a baby in her tummy. 

My friend Michelle pulled me aside at church a few weeks back and asked me if I was pregnant.  Now, I have been losing weight so I was mortified that she even asked!  She told me that Cooper had told her about the baby.  Cooper and I had a long chat about how there was literally no way in "you know where" that Mommy was having a baby and to stop telling people.  In the next weeks, I had some serious conversations about me not being pregnant with his teacher, my neighbor and the check out lady at Kroger.  He even told my best friend Christy that I was having a baby and marrying his Dad and it was a SECRET!!! That was a hard one to explain, let me tell you!

Well, after making sure my five year old was not taking hallucinogens, I have now threatened him within the very last inches of his life if he tells one more person that I am pregnant.  Hopefully, I will be scandal free for a while until Cooper dreams up a new scheme to kill me with embarassment.

Meanwhile, I told Cooper that he is free to pretend that Cori and Shannon's little boy is his baby brother because that is as close as he is getting for a LONG time!

PS Sorry Mom and Tom, I hope you know you are avenged!

Sidenote - In February, they will celebrate thirty one wonderful years even with four children conspiring against them! That is LOVE!