Tonight I miss my mom.  This is the simple and heartfelt cry of a lost little girl.  I miss my Mom so much that sometimes I find it hard to breathe.  Yet, I carry on - I have the most amazing husband and son who need me to carry on.  They need me to take a breath, suck it up and get busy. 


Sometimes though, in the still moments - I catch myself looking at pictures or thinking of her smell, or her soft skin, or her hugs and I am not sure how I am going to carry on. 


Earlier, I saw a Facebook post from someone who lost his mother 7 years ago and he still feels like he is lost. Not a good indicator for the years to come.  It feels like this hurt will never end - that I may never feel really happy ever again because even in my happiest moments, my mother won't be there to share it.


I am so lucky to have my dad and stepfather looking out for me, but in the famous words of my own mother - "Nobody loves ya like your momma."  No one knows my heart like she did - I feel guilty even thinking that because I am deeply loved by many people - but there it is... I know my siblings can attest to this loss though we all know she really loved me best (inside joke there...)


I am so incredibly lucky to know that my mom believed in the Savior deeply and I know someday I will see her again - my prayer is that this life will be possible without her.  Again, I am lucky that I had her for so long and she equipped me to make it without her - she really did.  It just hurts an extra special lot some times...