Christmas 2011

Let me start this whole story off by letting you know that I am not a humongous fan of the Thanksgiving/ Christmas holiday season.  I am not really sure why that is... It could have something to do with all of my years in retail or maybe being torn at Christmas time between all of my parents when I was younger or (more likely) it could be that families just kind of get annoying after you are forced to spend 48 hours in confined quarters with them... Don't even get me started on Christmas carols, ugh!

For the past several years, I have spent Christmas with my sister and her family and my Dad and his lovely wife, Ann.  I adore my nieces and nephews, they are like my own children and I am so excited that they love Cooper so much.  My sister Gretchen is awesome.  She is an amazing cook and channels her inner Betty Crocker around the holidays.  My Dad is great, but he is an adventurer, so he spends some time showing Ann the sites around Adamsville, the highlight being Amish country, he is enthralled.  That leaves the Memphis Lee's and the Lambert's in the house together for 2 solid days.  To say that chaos ensues is an understatement. Gretchen and I took to escaping to her room, locking the door and telling all parties under 21 to GO AWAY when we needed a moment.

Between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, Gretchen and I spent a solid 20 hours in the kitchen.  I told her that I was the sous chef, ha.  The other time was spent getting presents ready and then waiting for the kids to got to sleep so Santa could come and Santa's helpers could go to sleep. (sidenote - Santa's helper almost had to go in and lay the smackdown on Eli because that kid WOULD NOT go to sleep!!!) After all was said and done, the kids were overall pretty decent.  There was not much whining and the kids were sublimely happy with their gifts.  Several years ago, Gretchen started a 3 present rule because if it was good enough for Baby Jesus well then... you get the picture.  That was a total blessing though Cooper tries to circumvent that rule by asking for every toy ever invented.

We have several little traditions and one is to go to Candlelight service at church on Christmas Eve. This year, Gretchen and Steven are going to a new church.  The new church celebrates with the Lord's Supper for all confessed believers.  Cooper DID NOT understand why he couldn't have any crackers or "purple drink" like the big people. Luckily, he was in good company there were about 3 other little kids begging their parents for some juice! I held Cooper (restrained might be a better description) while the service concluded with several songs and I tried to really understand how Mary felt that night 2000 years ago, snuggling the son of God.  It was pretty over-powering because of how much I love Cooper and he could turn out to be a bank robber for all I know.  Mary held the Savior of the world.  That very child would die on the cross for the sins of all mankind to be washed clean, how incredible is that?? My Dad brought me back to reality after I described my "moment" by asking me if I thought that baby Jesus would have screamed for a juice box too... Haha Daddy, moment over...

So, Christmas this year was great.  I got to spend lots of time with my family with very little new gray hair growth. I may be coming around with my feelings about the holidays, especially when I focus more on the birth of Christ and less on a fat man in a tacky red suit.  Next year though, Gretchen and I are campaigning for a beach vacation!

Are Childen Just Payback for What You Did to Your Parents?

Let me set the stage for you. Small Methodist church in Knoxville, TN, late February around 1984ish... I am thinking that I was around eight years old. The preacher finished his sermon and asked for prayer requests and no one was speaking up, so I decided that I had one.  My parents were getting ready to celebrate their anniversary and I felt like they needed some prayers. So as I am sitting in between my Mom and Tom, I raised my little chubby hand and asked for everyone to pray for them.  I proceeded to tell everyone that they had had a rocky year and really needed prayer and celebration that they had made it to another anniversary. To say my Mom gave me a murderous glare would be an understatement and my stepfather just sat there trying to look pleasant until he could get us out of there and finish me off in the car.  I don't remember what happened after, either I spent a week in ICU and have no memory of the aftermath or my parents forgave me and moved on, either way.. no recollection. 

My parents liked to remind me about the "incident" and how badly I embarassed them.  I am thinking there were many more, but that one is a particular stand out.

Fast forward twenty-seven years to the new scene.. Cooper is obsessed with having a baby sister.  We have some dear friends that are currently preparing for baby #2 and it is only fueling the fire, we may have to cut off ties for my sanity. He asks me all the time when we can get one of those babies.  I let him know that when the little hand was on NEVER he can start to get excited. So apparently, in Cooper-land that means, Mommy is expecting... So, now he has told everyone that Mommy has a baby in her tummy. 

My friend Michelle pulled me aside at church a few weeks back and asked me if I was pregnant.  Now, I have been losing weight so I was mortified that she even asked!  She told me that Cooper had told her about the baby.  Cooper and I had a long chat about how there was literally no way in "you know where" that Mommy was having a baby and to stop telling people.  In the next weeks, I had some serious conversations about me not being pregnant with his teacher, my neighbor and the check out lady at Kroger.  He even told my best friend Christy that I was having a baby and marrying his Dad and it was a SECRET!!! That was a hard one to explain, let me tell you!

Well, after making sure my five year old was not taking hallucinogens, I have now threatened him within the very last inches of his life if he tells one more person that I am pregnant.  Hopefully, I will be scandal free for a while until Cooper dreams up a new scheme to kill me with embarassment.

Meanwhile, I told Cooper that he is free to pretend that Cori and Shannon's little boy is his baby brother because that is as close as he is getting for a LONG time!

PS Sorry Mom and Tom, I hope you know you are avenged!

Sidenote - In February, they will celebrate thirty one wonderful years even with four children conspiring against them! That is LOVE!

More than you can fathom...

So, last night I was talking to my Mom and she told me that she loved me more than I could even fathom, WOW.  Okay, let me back up a little... My momma is a little sick right now, a bit of a tumor hanging on to her brain.  (She said it looks like a slice of bologna laying on the front of her brain - that's my momma!) So, we are very careful to make sure that there is nothing left unsaid, but when she told me that, it just took my breath away a bit.  She always said no one loves you like your momma, she even used to tell me a little rhyme: There once was a girl with one little curl right in the middle of the her forehead, and when she was good, she was very good, but when she was bad, no one loved her but her momma...

I think now that I am a mother, I can finally start to understand the love of a parent.  I always thought I knew about love, but unconditional love is a whole other ballgame. The kind of love that would put a 9lb 15oz wrinkly turkey on a pedestal about 3.2 miles above your own needs, wants, and dreams.  The kind of love that can watch your little monkey sleep for four hours just so you can watch his lips curl up in a smile during a good dream (probably about Spiderman.) The kind of love that puts aside the tumor in your brain to make sure that your needy, 35 year old daughter knows that you love her more deeply than she will ever fathom...

It kind of gives me a glimpse of how much God loves me...I mean sending his only son to die for me, that is a love that I cannot fathom!

So, back to my crazy Momma.  She is so fun and she thinks I am the bee's knees. I can make her laugh and she raised all of us to be independent and fun-loving.  She forced me to go to college, but I got the last laugh, my degree is in Recreation and Tourism Management, I win! She got mad at me for being an unwed mother at age 30, wouldn't talk to me for four months, but she left me voicemails every 2 weeks to let me know that she was still mad, but she loved me anyway and wanted me to know.

Now she is the loving, fabulous grandmother of my little man, as well as six other little anklebiters.  Last Thanksgiving, Cooper and I went to spend the holiday with  my parents.  It was just the four of us, we ate a great dinner, went to bed early and got up at 3 AM to do a little Black Friday line standing in... Then we went to my Mom's favorite restaurant Cracker Barrel for pancakes (seriously, how awesome is it that my mom's fave restaurant of all is CB!) After a little nap, we braved Chuck E Cheese for Cooper's birthday and my Momma got a little feisty with some little 6 year old hooligan that kept taking Cooper's tickets! We almost had a brawl, but he saw the light!

Those are the times of your life ( I think I have a Green Day song on repeat in my head now!)